Money in family

Money has a way of causing problems in families. It brings out the bad and good in people. It either shows generosity, or stinginess. It can lead to resentment, or gratitude. Money in families has more potential for problems than it should. The following are a few examples of how it can be problematic, and how to avoid money problems in your family.

1. Loans to family. If someone in your family is not in a position to get a loan from a bank, you probably should not loan to them either. It may be due to circumstances that are beyond their control, such as hospital bills, etc. but the fact is, loaning money to family is fraught with problems. What happens to the relationship if they do not pay you back? Will you be able to make it financially if your loan is ignored? Even if you are in the position to loan money to family, unless you can live with out it, you should never loan it. As far as family goes, consider it a gift, and if they pay you back be grateful. Otherwise you are putting yourself in a potentially volatile situation where resentment reigns, and frustration rules.
2. Working with family. When you work with family, money is involved. Sometimes it is hard for family to understand that you are their boss, or that they do not deserve more income based on their work. Family often expects to be granted promotions, raises, and other favors simply because they are family, whether their actions merit it or not. In addition, when personal problems arise, it has a way of affecting working situations. If you work with your parent, and you get in a huge fight with them, and refuse to let them see their grandkids, what do you think will happen while you are at work? It is unwise to put your financial well-being in the hands of your family. Put them in your own hands, or run the risk of ruining family relationships over money.
3. Loving people with money, or treating those without money differently can also be a huge problem within families. In your extended family, you may see some people who are better off than others. This can lead to unfair treatment. Maybe some people get better treatment than others because of their financial position. It seems that rich tend to get higher esteem than poor, and while this may be expected in society, it is extremely frustrating to deal with in a family situation, and can lead to a lot of resentment and family problems.
When it comes to family and money, the best policy is to simply keep them separate. Do not discuss your finances, do not give loans, and do not work with family. It is great to be generous with family, and to give if you have it, but do not expect things in return, and always look for non-money ways to help.

Fighting with family

Fighting with family sucks. No one wants to be in a fight with the people who they are supposed to be able to count on the most. However, often our families are the people we interact with the most. As a result, they are the ones who get the brunt of our bad moods, our insecurities flaring up, etc. Often, because we are dealing with family, we are less thoughtful, and quicker to anger or other damaging emotions.

The reasons family fights happen are plentiful, and often boil down to the simple idea that we often take liberties with family that we would not take with others because it is family. We may not treat friends the same way, or co-worker, etc as that could damage a relationship, but with family, the relationship is forced, and so often the relationship suffers.
What can you do when you are in a fight with family? You can start by taking a step back and evaluating your personal behaviors. Do not consider what they did, or whether or not you can justify your own behavior, simple ask yourself whether or not you would do or say the same things to someone who is not family. Would you guilt trip a friend for not helping you move because they have work? Would you say hurtful things to a neighbor if they spilled coffee on your shirt? The point is, evaluate your own behavior and ask yourself if there is room for improvement with how you treat your family.
You may be fighting for perfectly good reasons, and have every reason in the world to be angry, hurt, etc. But, if your actions were out of line, start by rectifying that. Next, give yourself some distance if need be. One of the best cures to family drama is simply having a little time away. Because family is close, and you live with them, and tread on one another's toes every day, it can be hard to work through the hurt and frustration of a fight, especially if there are reminders of the wrong doing all around you. So, take a break. Take a time out from your family. A little time apart, a little distance, a little separation of lives can go a long way in letting tempers calm, and feelings settle.
Lastly, work it out because it is family. It may suck. They may have been really out of line. You may have every reason in the world to hold a grudge, or never want to speak to your family member again, but it is family, which is enough incentive to figure things out. So, put your pride aside, and do what you need to in order to repair the problem and the relationship so that the problem does not continue to persist in the relationship. Pride does not taste good, but family is just that.family, and the relationship is worth preserving.